


May I interest you in a... NECK-tarine?

by Autisticvampireclub



Series: Post-intense depression episode vampire au fics [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen, Vampire AU, i love vampire puns so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 23:50:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19038070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autisticvampireclub/pseuds/Autisticvampireclub
Summary: Michael invites Jake over to hang out, vegan confessions and bad vampire puns ensue.





	May I interest you in a... NECK-tarine?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on something I posted on my tumblr, enjoy!

“Thanks for inviting me over man, I appreciate it.” 

 

Michael nodded absentmindedly as he shuffled through the fridge. He had two bags of blood left, one for him and one for Jake. 

 

Jake himself was draped over Michael’s living room couch, his head propped up against a pillow and his feet resting on the coffee table. He yawned. 

 

“I’m glad we get to spend some time together, like one on one, just us two vampires y’know?” he said sleepily. 

 

“Mhm, yeah,” Michael mumbled in agreement.

 

It was six pm, and both of them had just woken up. Being a vampire sure did make your sleep schedule weird. Especially when you still had to go to high school. 

 

Michael popped a straw in one of the blood bags, and took a sip. It tasted so  _ sweet,  _ even better than a cherry slushie. That was another weird thing about being a vampire. Before, blood just tasted gross and coppery. Now it was the most delicious thing in the world to him. 

 

“Hey dude, want some blood?” he asked Jake, who was now laying face down on the pillow. 

 

Jake looked up, and immediately winced at the sight of the blood bag. “Ah… nah man, I’m vegan.”

 

Michael blinked. “Your… vegan?” 

 

Jake smiled sheepishly. “Yeah… it’s weird, I know…” 

 

“Oh, I didn’t mean that in a bad way!” Michael clarified, “I’m just… surprised, I didn’t know that was a thing…” 

 

“Yeah, usually it’s a bit of a shock, everyone thinks vampires can only drink blood, but we can drink other stuff, we just can’t eat solid food,” Jake explained. 

 

Michael slumped down on the couch next to Jake. “Huh… I didn’t know that, I mean I’ve only been a vampire for a little while, well, compared to you at least… there’s a lot of stuff I’m still learning I guess…” 

 

Jake patted him on the back. “The first few months are an awkward process, but you’ll get through it bro.” 

 

“Thanks Jake,” Michael said with a soft smile. He went to take another sip of his blood bag, but noticed Jake eyeing him warily. “Jake, are you okay?”

 

Jake flinched in surprise, and then looked away, embarrassed. “N… No, sorry… it’s just…” 

 

Michael glanced down at the blood, and back at Jake. “Are you afraid of blood?” 

 

“No!” Jake said quickly. “I mean… I’m not afraid, I’m just kinda… squeamish I guess… but that’s not your fault, you shouldn’t have to stop drinking just because of me…” 

 

Michael shook his head. “No, if it seriously makes you uncomfortable, I’ll just drink later.”

 

“But…” 

 

“Really, it’s all good dude.”

 

Jake looked like he has about to protest, but just sighed. “Alright, thanks man.”

 

“Don’t mention it, and if you don’t mind me asking, if you don’t drink blood what do you drink?” Michael asked. 

 

“Fruit juice mostly, that and I take iron supplements.” 

 

“Ah…” Michael hummed. A grin spread across his face. “Well, in that case… may I interest you in a  _ blood  _ orange?” 

 

Jake stared at him blankly. “...What?”

 

“Or perhaps you’d prefer a  _ neck- _ tarine?” Michael chuckled. 

 

Jake face palmed. “Really dude?” he sighed. 

 

Michael laughed, and gave Jake a light punch on the shoulder. “Just messing with ya.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, vampire puns, so funny,” Jake groaned. 

 

“I think their  _ fang- _ tastic!” 

 

“Why are you like this…” Jake moaned dramatically. 

 

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know, guess I must just be absolutely  _ batty.”   _

 

Jake stood up. “That’s it, I’m leaving.”

 

He walked out of the living room, leaving Michael a giggling mess on the couch. “No, wait Jake come back, I promise I won’t be such a  _ pain in the neck _ -“

 

He laughed even harder as Jake groaned from the other room. 

**Author's Note:**

> (My tumblr is Autisticvampireclub btw, I post tons of stuff about this au there)


End file.
